Partnership

My husband, Bruce and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary and I happened to read something my mother wrote on partnership and would like to share it with you.  It was part of a dialogue (by letter) between Mom and another person.  


The person she wrote asked her, "... there was something you said in a different letter where you talk about Dr. Low's use of language and specifically focusing on partnership.  How Dr. Low might use a word that is in the dictionary, but uses it in a different way.  You said, “Of course acting as a partner has a good effect on the other person or persons but the real reason, I think, that we are to practice partnership is the effect it has on our self-integration and our sense of wholeness.”  You go on to say, “Although maybe when we take a total view of ourselves, it gives a sense of self-respect to ‘see’ that we have not failed in our effort to be part of “THE GROUP’.”  The letter writer asked her to write more about this.  What follows is an excerpt of Mom’s response:

It is as though our temper and habits in connection with our dearest ones, block the insight – no way for it to get through the barriers we have set up.

In one article Dr. Low talks about our father, mother, sister, children, etc., are “inside” us – almost inner environment.  You know what deception we practice with our own inner environment on “Self”.  No wonder the others are blocked out by complexity of emotions … I think the self-integration and wholeness come from the fact that it takes persistent effort towards partnership, whereas partisanship is like falling off a log – very easy.

When we make a business of practicing being a partner and forget about the “perks”, that is, that people like us better and that we are succeeding in that realm – leave that part of it to itself—because the results [for our mental health] are great.  But the Will to Effort and Control, and the value we place on our own efforts towards “evolution” as a human being finally begins to strengthen our SELF objectively and we “see” that we are succeeding in this endeavor to be a partner, which brings real self-respect.  Self-respect cures a nervous patient, but it can’t be faked. It has to be real and probably figuring on how becoming a partner instead of a partisan is a real accomplishment no doubt about it!


After writing this, I found the letter from which the original discussion started.  This is a little more on the meaning of the word "partnership" and related to the topic.  


Language again... Dr. Low said that the titles of his articles are couched in terms that are usually not used in our everyday language but the words are found in the dictionary.  People who marry are partners, people who join the same club are partners, people who talk to one another to exchange views are partners for that moment.  He went on to say that even when we ally ourselves with others into partnerships there are always differences of opinion and therefore trouble... But this was a good chance to look at a word like "partnership" and hear Dr. Low's explanation of why it has a different meaning in Recovery. The rules of group behavior apply.  I can remember being on the street, stopping to visit with someone I didn't especially want to see or talk with but remembering that we had formed a partnership for those few minutes and I was obligated to act as a partner, to listen, to reply, to not act as though I had to hurry away, to look at him or her and not keep glancing away... I'm thinking, I'm thinking".


Love,


Treasure