Balance

The following is taken from a notebook in which Mom wrote about a number of subjects. Some were just thoughts jotted down and some were more organized. You will see that she would add - more on this later. I have not found anything specific to this in the notebook, which has created a bit of a challenge to see if she wrote more somewhere else. If she did, you'll be the first to know! I titled this Balance as she had not written anything at the top of the page. As usual, her writing is in italics.

Dr. Low talked a lot about balance. When balance is achieved on an enduring scale, there is more freedom. This holds true with a very basic matter in psychiatric patients - exceptionality versus averageness. Much of the suffering in psychiatric illness comes from imbalance in this contrast pair.

There are levels of exceptionality and also levels of averageness. There is undesirable exceptionality when we go "bottom fishing" in our personal assessment of who we are. We take the partial view that reveals our short comings and faults, recalling our blunders and this can be instantaneous - a kind of total acceptance of the lowest portion of our self. This is false.

Then there is exceptionality that sees only that partial view that reveals a self that is above everyone and everything. It admits to such a perfection, it is one-sided and is, of course, false.

Both of the above views are opposite ends of the same stick and a linear look at that stick reveals that we range between the two states of being. This linear view, or all encompassing total view of ourselves produces the real, or the balanced total view.

By nature and by predisposition the two partial views take precedence. In other words, we tend to favor one over the other during some event in our life. The undesirable exceptionality creates suffering and self punishment. The partial view, that we are above everyone and everything may create a feeling of euphoria and joy, but this feeling can only be present while the illusion of this unreal partial viewpoint is there. There is also toxicity in the tenseness which such "high flying" produces. And since life is not static and frozen something will happen which begins a change. In patients, Dr. Low described it as a picnic turning into a panic.

The opposite of the teeter-totter of high and low is averageness which in Dr. Lows method is part of the philosophy he built into his system. By the way, another part of his philosophy, as I see it, is the self-healing, self organizing ability of "being". More about that later.

Averageness has levels too; at least three levels; poor average, plain average and good average. In truth all human beings are average, so it is an illusion to say we have to strive to be average when in fact we already are, nevertheless, we, especially patients, have to keep reminding ourselves or we will fall prey to a sense of exceptionality. The word "sense" is a conception, a belief, a feeling, a thought in the inner environment.

Exceptionality or more accurately a sense of exceptionality will spoil the balance just as with a weight scale - if you load more on one side it will not balance. More on this later.