Once again, I unfortunately do not have a date for this. My guess is that it was fairly early as it is a transcript from a tape. Mom used the tape recorder to save her time and traveling in the early days. I remember that old recorder. It was a big reel to reel recorder and seemed to weighed a ton. Sometimes Mom asked groups to record their meetings so she could listen since she could not be everywhere. Other times, she made a tape and sent it as it was quicker than a letter for her. Eventually she discovered a member (Emily, a sweet woman) in her group who could type like the wind and so she started to transcribe tapes or type up letters for Mom.
The following seems unorthodox and it is, but I would imagine Mom was feeling her way along in helping others to begin to practice Dr. Low's Method. It was said, that in Recovery we lead by example. In this tape she is talking to someone named Bill about angry temper and eventually uses an example of how it was spotted. I love the end of her tape when she says, "Now - hop to it... ." She never said anything in a grim way. There was always compassion in her communication whether in person or otherwise.
On another note, regarding the chapter Mom cites, I was very struck by something a psychologist once said to me. I was at the V.A. hospital in San Diego where she worked and we were passing each other in the hall. She stopped me and said, "You know Treasure, I don't think I have ever read a real description of temper the way Dr. Low describes it and breaks it down. He was such a genius!"
Here is what Mom said to someone named Bill:
I think that all of us are in Recovery for one reason – and that is to get rid of our symptoms.
Dr. Low tells us that nervous symptoms are caused by tenseness. And the only things that cause tenseness are fear and anger. If you are neither fearful nor angry – then you will be relaxed, and if you are relaxed you will not be tense, and if you are not tense, then you will not have nervous symptoms. Rather than try to discuss both fear and anger in one tape, I will follow the suggestion you gave me, Bill and discuss anger only this time.
Dr. Low used the term – angry temper – whenever he spoke of anger. There was a good reason for this. Anger is a feeling – but a feeling is always attached to a thought, and the thought that is attached to the feeling of anger is: “Someone has wronged me – or they are wrong.”
Well, if angry temper is the cause of tenseness and tenseness is the cause of our symptoms – we’d better take steps immediately to get rid of the angry temper. And Dr. Low never told us to do anything unless we followed this advice with definite instructions in how to accomplish it. In other words he gave us a method to use. If you do not know this method – then how can you possibly get rid of your temper? But if you have a method, … then all you have to do is to follow that method, and you will be certain of success.
Angry temper has what is known as the “temperamental cycle.” And if temper is left to itself it will consist of three definite stages: 1. The immediate effect. 2. The aftereffect. 3. The anticipation of a renewed outburst. To explain these three stages, I would like you to read chapter 48, "Intuitive Versus Discursive Thought in Temper" in Mental Health Through Will-Training.
Dr. Low said he did not expect us to succeed the first time nor even the fourth, fifth and sixth time – but he said that if we were really determined to change our temperamental habits, we would stick with the method, until we had our tempers licked.
I remember well the first time I ever tried to use this method. I had feebly tried to use it with my husband and children, but found that my temper was very strong, there, so I reasoned that I would attack my temper at its weakest link. I kept watching myself for temper with outsiders where there was little emotional tie-up. I didn’t have to wait long. I happened to be in Detroit one day, and was to take the bus home. I had a return ticket, and waited in line to get on the bus. When I finally got to the gate, I handed the bus driver my ticket. Then I suddenly thought that I didn’t have anything to read on the bus, so I ran over to the newsstand and bought a paper. Then I went back to the gate and when I attempted to pass through, the bus driver said, “Where’s your ticket, lady?” Of course I told him that I had already given it to him. He said, he didn’t remember my giving it to him. Then I said, “Do I look like the type of person who would try to cheat you?” He said, “I’m no judge of human nature – all I want is your ticket. And you’re not getting on this bus until you produce one.” Well, I was white with rage, but I had to get home on that particular bus for Brighton, or wait two hours – so I stamped over to the ticket window and bought another ticket, and grudgingly gave it to the driver. After I got on the bus and we started on our way – I began to fume and fuss. I thought what a horrible person he was. I thought I had good reason to be mad at him, anyone would feel the same way. I’ll bet even Recovery would say I had a right to be mad over this injustice. Well, when the word "Recovery" went through my mind, I started to think. I noticed that my heart was pounding, my face was hot, I was perspiring. I had head pressure. Then I thought, “Gee, maybe this is what Dr. Low means when we have to spot and get rid of temper. I’m getting quite a reaction here.” So I thought about the temperamental cycle. I had already gone through the first stage called the immediate effect. I certainly had been in no condition to reason anything out then or think of control. I had been fairly out of my senses. But now this must be the second stage I was in, the cooling off process, or the aftereffect. So I struggled to become objective with my thinking and not to endorse the outburst. Mind you, I had had no big outer fight with the bus driver, my remarks to him were guarded and couched in fairly quiet tones befitting a civilized person, but inside I had had the outburst. I have learned that if this eases, just as much tenseness will too. So as I rode along, my thoughts went something like this: “Now maybe this bus driver has corns, and feels crabby – maybe he had a fight with his wife.” “Nevertheless – nobody should treat a paying customer like that”. Then I would have to make another effort to reject the last thought and I would say, “Well, be fair now – what if all the passengers decided to buy a paper after getting their tickets - why should you demand special privileges?” Then another thought damaging the character of the bus driver would sneak in. And so it went during the hour’s journey out to Brighton. When I got off the bus I had the impulse to make a nasty remark to him. I wanted to say very sneeringly – “Thank you so much for your consideration – It cost me two tickets to ride out here and I hope I never get you as a driver again.” I also wanted to write a letter to the bus company and complain. Then I recognized this as the anticipation of a renewed fight, where I possibly might be the winner.
So actually, my temperamental cycle in this instance, had run its full course. I can’t tell what my symptoms were from this particular case of sabotage, because to tell you the truth, at that time, I felt lousy all the time. I had fatigue so bad, I had to drag myself to walk. I had confusion, preoccupation, the fear of people, sweats, palpitations, heaviness in my chest and stomach, a humming off and on in my head and ears, sleeplessness at night sleepiness all day, nightmares, etc. You might wonder how I could take a bus home from Detroit in such a condition. Well, I could struggle through this after I came into Recovery, as long as I didn’t meet anyone I knew, or as long as a stranger didn’t try to talk with me for any length of time. I have stepped on the bus to go into Detroit from Brighton, and seen someone I knew on there, and have gotten off and given up the trip pleading a sick headache or some flimsy excuse, because I would be too panicky to go through the experience of visiting with them.
Well, I kept using this method over and over, and I soon found that it worked like magic. In fact I began to be able to check the outburst before it started, and to consider the event a triviality in comparison with good mental health. I found that the things I got mad over were so trivial, that usually within a few days I had forgotten what it was I got mad about. It took me months and maybe longer than that to accomplish this with my husband and children. They first had to become outer environment for me, but that’s the subject for another tape – inner and outer environment.
To sum up – nervous symptoms are caused from tenseness. Tenseness is created by fear and anger only. Anger or angry temper runs in three discrete stages – and the Recovery member uses the method of rational, objective thinking during the second stage. Further, the Recovery member begins his attack at the weakest link in the chain of his angry temper, not the strongest. Now – hop to it, and change those temperamental habits if you would like to be rid of your symptoms.
