Moving the Muscles

When I was growing up and especially when I was probably in middle school, I'd inwardly roll my eyes when Mom would say, "Dr. Low told me..." or, "Dr. Low says..."  But of course, later on I learned to pay attention. First I paid attention out of intellectual interest, later to help friends, and then out of a need to recover from my own suffering!  Thank goodness I had that background as I really knew when I was in the grip of my symptoms, that I might be helpless but it didn't mean I was hopeless.  That kept me going as I started to REALLY practice (there's nothing like pain to get me motivated) and wait the Recovery way for the balance to come.

The note I found in one of Mom's journals is about moving muscles.  It's so basic.  I remember Mom telling me this and when I read it, I thought it would be good to share it with you.  It's true that sometimes I forget that moving the muscles and then endorsing myself has much to do with practice, practice, practice!  It is by this (and more) that I go from being "symptom-led" to "self-led" and with self leadership I gain self-respect.  This is what she wrote:

Dr. Low told me that many members misinterpreted the principle “Move your Muscles”.  He said, “They’ll say, ‘I moved my muscles and scrubbed the floor.’  Well this is not what I had in mind at all.”

We were interrupted in our conversation at this point and I never did get the opportunity to query him on it.  However, I think I have figured it out – or at least I have a guess as to what he meant.

Our society is very “production” oriented.  Moving my muscles and scrubbing the floor may give me a feeling of accomplishment.  I may feel more worthy, and may even feel more acceptable as a person.  This may temporarily give me a lift, a bit more energy, but is this what Dr. Low meant by this principle?

In contrast, I’ll cite the case of my nervous fatigue that debilitated me to almost a stand still (lying in bed, not bathing often, etc.).  I learned from Recovery that I should move my muscles to take walks every day and to try to increase the distance gradually.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that I felt I didn’t have the energy to walk from the front door of our home to the sidewalk, but I moved my muscles to go ahead and walk – not in a weak, hanging back timid way, but with a bold vigorous step.  The dizziness came, the world outside me swam in a blurry, unreal way, but on I walked, striding out for several blocks.

By the time I returned from my walk, I would feel no better – in fact I might feel worse because of the severe discomfort my walk had brought on.  Nevertheless the principle of taking walks, was the practice I had accepted, so next day, out I went again.

There were times on these walks that I would feel I might have to lean against a building or a tree – or possibly drop down and crawl home somehow.  Trembling and sweating I would go in our house and wonder when I would begin to get some results.

My nervous fatigue kept on for a long time – or it would leave for a short time and come back.  But somehow with persistence there was a cumulative effect that finally emerged.

“Move your muscles” was the Method.  What did it do? My muscles proved to my brain that my fatigue was not organic but psychological.  The mere act of walking physically was not the issue.  The issue was that my brain was convinced that I could not function as other people do.  Moving muscles was not an act worthy of praise from others – but it was a means of dealing with the psychopathology of my illness.